I was 15 when I debated in my first practice round at a club meeting. It was not love at first sight, let me tell you. I was awkward and nervous and I didn’t come anywhere close to filling my speech times. But I persisted and eventually learned how to craft an argument, fill my speech times, and even have a good time doing it. Over the years I improved and went on to have a respectable high school debate career which led to receiving college scholarships in the “sport” I grew to love.
Don’t worry, this is not my “debate gave me so much” essay that I should probably write. But suffice it to say that I think debate is the single most useful activity that I did in High School and I think everyone should be exposed to it as early as possible. :end rant:
This article is about the problem with debate.
Wait. No.
This article is about a problem with debate. Okay thats better.
Precision of language, folks. It’s a thing.
A problem I’ve noticed with debate is that far too many debaters – and I was one of them – leave the sport having learned how to convince an audience that they won an argument, but they don’t know how to hold a meaningful conversation. Let me explain.
A debate round is about winning. It’s competitive. You do everything you possibly can to convince a judge that you’ve won. You present evidence that supports your position and you defend it as gospel. You die on every hill and you stop at nothing to give the appearance of having the upper hand.
A conversation on the other hand – especially a rich conversation about controversial topics amongst people who disagree – is about a mutual pursuit of truth. Or at least a genuine shared interest in understanding the other side. You take great pains not to mischaracterize each-other’s position. You allow your fellow human the benefit of the doubt and assume the most charitable version of their argument. You clash, of course, but you do it out of mutual curiosity and not out of a desire to win.
Or at least you should.
Unfortunately, too many of us are still back in debate world. So we do things like make arguments to score points or throw someone off balance; it’s as if we’re speaking for the benefit of a phantom judge and audience that we haven’t seen in years. We participate in conversations like someone will be pronounced the winner.
I truly can’t think of a worse way to approach a conversation.
To be clear, I’m not saying debate shouldn’t be competitive. It should be. I’m saying that many former debaters – and let me say again: I was one of them – have a self-awareness problem. We fail to see how debating-to-win defeats the purpose and strips the value out of a conversation. Not to mention it yields some piss-poor results socially.
You become that guy on FB that no-one will engage with anymore because you’re an insufferable gasbag. You become that family member that everyone walks on egg shells around because you’re a fatuous blowhard . You’re the guy people avoid at work because you’re a bloviator.
If you find yourself in this position, I have good news for you: you don’t have to be an insufferable gasbag or a fatuous blowhard if you don’t want to be.
All you have to do is relax a little bit and realize that allowing others the chance to speak doesn’t diminish you or your own thoughts and opinions. People with different opinions can exist pleasantly in the same room without coming to a 3-0 decision on whose opinion is best.
So if you’re realizing that you’re that guy (or girl) that everyone avoids: relax. Take a beat. Let someone else talk for a change – you might be surprised at what you learn.
“Conversation should be pleasant without scurrility, witty without affectation, free without indecency, learned without conceitedness, novel without falsehood.”
– William Shakespeare
MW 